munky.org|v3.0

Most of us have heard of the supposed alien crash site at Roswell, New Mexico. It lives at the core at the UFO conspiracy theorist, and the government documents later released may be the most scrutinized government documents ever in existence. Books have been written. Movies filmed, TV shows produced.

But maybe there is yet another government conspiracy that little have ever even considered. UTO’s. Unidentified Talking Objects. Namely, actors. For years, we have seen TV advertisements make the claim “Real people, not actors.” Interesting, but I thought actors were real people. Then all of a sudden, it appears they mockingly have blown their cover, knowing that the truth is so unbelievable that we will take it as a carefully scripted advertisement. I’m referring to “Hulu.com,” where they will rot out our brains then eat em. Yikes!

But I believe we are beginning to see them for who we are. Here’s my theory. In the late 1800′s, before motion pictures had arrived, a group of aliens came to the planet earth. They held the capability of shifting into any form necessary. They can here to eat. After sampling various animals, they decided that humans were the ultra delicacy. Specifically, human brains. That study was probably done by an infamous “human,” Jack the Ripper.

Unfortunately, human brains are not very tender in their standard form. In fact, the smarter the person, the hardest those brains become. So they decided to find a way to harvest them. Let us introduce, the Motion Picture. What a brilliant idea, the insignificant humans just stood let, letting their brains grow to mush. Yummy! At first, they didn’t see the need to add sound, most people were well in-tune with the classical music of the day, and the recipe worked. However, their minds adjusted over time, their an evolutionary process. So then they added speech! Oh my, if only we knew that the sultry sounds of Clark Gable or Frank Sinatra came from the amorphous lungs of a brain eating alien! And vampires thought they had it made!

As time progressed, they introduced us to color, then better color. TV’s got larger, the resolution went bigger. Then something unexpected happened. Humans stopped going to movie theatres. Theatres, once an all-you-can-eat buffet for the brain-slurping alien, became slim-pickens. They were starving, and they needed a plan fast! That’s where Hulu.com came into play.

Aliens had discovered years ago the power of TV – and later the Internet – to liquefy our mental mass. Yet tapping into this potential was problematic. Brains were best eaten during or shortly after a movie or TV show. And instead of being able to wait in one place, they had to move from house to house, wasting precious energy. Like burning 1,000 calories to eat 500, it is just not worth it.

In comes Hulu.com, their latest tactic to preserving their delicacy. By given us feeble humans the opportunity to watch our favorite TV shows whenever and wherever we wanted to, we opened the door to new tactics. Now, instead of going door-to-door, hoping to catch us at the right moment, they can come to our places of work, and satisfy their appetite. They can also track us using cookies, knowing where we are and when we watch, plotting our actions on a map, and concentrating their efforts in those areas. The best part about it, the can expose themselves for who they really are, and know one thinks it is the truth! Computer animation is capable of makings these images, so we believe that they are computer generated. What an amazing technique, exposing your true self under the guise of a purportedly “human” creation.

We are in a new era of a terror now, from this unknown predator. They are amongst us everyday, yet we cannot know who they are. Since first coming to Earth in the 1800′s, they have breeded and multiplied, with the occasional cross-species mating with human beings. We know these to have horrible effects: just look at Amy Winehouse, a 3/4 human breed.

And what can the government do to help us? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Why should they, these aliens have bank-rolled every single conflict since the war of 1812. They diverted our carriers before Pearl Harbor was bombarded by the Japanese. They warned us against the dangers of Vietnam, yet paid our way through. Now we are in the midst of a great recession. Where are they now? They are carefully breeding new ways of fulfilling their hunger, while secretly providing funds for TARP and the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. Recessions are good times for them – we go to the movies more often and watch more television – so they have an incentive to let this drag on. Yet they are careful not to “over-harvest” us, lessons learned from previous tactics used over the last 20,000 years.

So what we can do? There is little known what we can do beyond go on about our business. The government has given us hints before, warning about obesity and other health problems from sitting in front of the television all of the time. It is bad for your health. Just be careful of your habits, because you never know when you’re up for lunch next.

-Anonymous Source