#OccupyMonday
- Occupy movement has taken to Mondays. Photo courtesy of salon.com
The Occupy movement has decided to take on a new challenge: Mondays! Long the most despised day of the week of the 99%, the movement seeks real reform against the pain and terror this day brings.
True to the social media revolution, the protests were planned out through Facebook. Each company took its own approach. In some offices, not a soul showed up to work. This scene panned out at a local office of major financial institution, where a lone Senior Vice President came in to work. The SVP, who asked not to be named, was furious that he came into work this morning and had to make his own coffee. After several hours of trying to answer the phone for himself, he eventually locked up and went home.
Other places took an approach more common from the Occupy playbook. At one company, employees staged a sit-in in the break room. Several workers had brought boxes of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. After failed attempted by managers to break up the group and resume access to the coffee pot, the police were called. After a tense stand-off, with employees sitting down, arms locked and chanting, officers – in fear of their safety – pepper sprayed and billy-clubbed many of the protesters, and place three under arrest for failure to disperse. No one was serious injured, however the doughnuts and several cups of coffee were taken as evidence. The Chief of Police went on record supporting the actions of the officers, even showing off how delicious the evidence was. However, internal affairs in investigating the actions of those officers, and have place several on paid administrative leave.
Some protestors took their concerns all the way to the White House. While most of the company-based protests were asking for solutions such as work from home Mondays, half day Mondays, Mondays off, full buffet breakfast on Mondays (a favorite of our staff!), the group in DC had much bolder solutions. They have requested that President Obama draft an executive order, removing Monday from the calendar, and replacing it with Funday. All Fundays would be required holidays, with employers unable to make employees work that day. They are suggesting that this is protected under the 1st Amendment, as it is everyone’s religion to rather have fun on Mondays. The President has given support to these ideas, but believes it will take an act of Congress to push through. OccupyMonday has recommended you reach out to your Congressional representatives in support of such an idea.
However, it hasn’t been all fun and games. Several prominent politicians and many business owners have spoken out against the Occupy protests. Hermain Cain went on record telling “those lazy bums to get to work.” He cites the millions of unemployed who would gladly work on a Monday. When asked if he was referring to the same millions he said were too lazy to get a job in an earlier speech, he swiftly concluded the interview. Michelle Bachmann has also spoken out against the protests, comparing the protesters to the “fags and queers” that her and her husband have tried to repair. Rick Santorum went on record that he believed that this was not considered protected speech, and the protesters should all be arrested. Many business owners chimed in, with common buzz words such as “anti-capitalists” and “socialist movement” being thrown around like monkeys with a bag of poo.
While the 99% might agree that Mondays are no fun, if the OccupyMonday movement is successful, we have to work what’s next, Tuesdays?
Thanks to staff writer Sharon Houston for tipping me off to this story. Now I must join her and the rest of my colleagues to protest Mondays.
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