Believe in me, because you know no other answers

This is in response to one of the repertoire of questions generally asked to atheists, which would be where did the Universe come from.

Now that I’ve said that, you have probably guessed I am an atheist. And you guess would be, correct! Sorry, you don’t win a prize though. Was I always this way? Well, no. But I did start this way. When I was born (and you too!) I was an atheist. Then God and Jesus and all of Christianity was introduced to me. Now, I did not live in an evangelical house hold. But Christianity was a part of my life, although all of the facts were not, since my parents were both more on the “Faith” side of Christianity, vs the religious side. I was baptised as a Catholic (sadly enough, that priest has been accused of molesting a couple of boys back in the day, one at the same church I was baptised, a few years before I was born, eeek!). Eventually I spent a year at Catholic school, was an altar boy (no, I was not molested, it was a different priest, and I still hold him in high regard, as he really is a genuinely nice man), and even contemplated being a priest.

I was brought up on creationism was a proven concept, with evolution being just a “theory.” Even as a drifted away from the Catholic church, I still was a by-faith Christian. Problem was, I never realized just how hypocritical I was. Why? Because beyond religion, I thoroughly enjoyed science. And science teaches you to question EVERYTHING. If we didn’t, well, we’d still be living in caves, chasing  animals and foraging for food.

The older I got, the more I questioned. As I began to be more technical in my life, I questioned even further, and smarter. This more technical side? I began going to college finally, spending 3 years at night to get a general Associate of Science, spending a year on my Bachelors of Science in Mechanical Engineering and Physics (which I am currently on break from due to financial hardships I had to address).

The more I questioned, the less I believed, until eventually I discovered that my faith was nothing more than a hollow shell, supported by 0 evidence. None. In fact, the only viable question that would have me to question is, where did the universe come from.

And there are theories out there regarding this, but in all reality, it is going to be extremely difficult to prove or disprove particular theories. And either way, it still leaves the question of what was around before the universe, etc., and since infinity is not a real number, the answer is difficult.

But you know, that particular question made me think onto a number of other things. First, let’s take a look at Christianity and its Jewish origins. Remember, back then scientific knowledge wasn’t like it was today. We now know about how hallucinations result from mental illness or drug use. We know the full motions of the moon (and it is a giant rock in the sky reflecting sunlight, not just a bright light). We know what causes earthquakes, whether patterns, disease, retardation, etc. There are reasons for these things, scientifically explainable, and without the need of theological thought.

Now read the Bible. It is a HUGE book, so I will not argue specific passages, because the passages alone already fill a book. Read about the signs that god presents. Nowadays, most people hear about an earthquake, they make think of a tectonic plate before they think “oh, this is a sign from God that ______.” Or the guys, walking around on the streets, screaming about whatever prophecy, we think mental illness, not that God has chosen to speak through him. Now, I say most, because some people still believe that God uses earthquakes and tsunamis to punish the wicked, etc. Except that these natural events have occurred much longer than people have been around.

The argument here is simple. If we could go back in time, and live in that lifetime, with the knowledge we have today, our beliefs would be shaken. Solar Eclipse would be cool, while people run frightened because it was an ominous sign from God.

Which is the same thing that all belief systems have done, probably even before recorded history. It is an attempt to explain the world around, because there were no better options around at the time. And if those answers become apparent, then the belief system either changes, disappears, or is ignorant of the knowledge. Christianity has been a prime example of the mixture of change and ignorance. As ancient knowledge was challenged and proven wrong, Christianity, and not just the Catholic church, has either been ignorant of it, contesting that these challenges are heresy. Or they have come to accept them, and change the belief to fit around it. Think about germ theory. Some faiths are ignorant of current knowledge, claiming them to be sinful, and instead rely on prayer to cure. The power of prayer is equal to the power of the placebo.

Other faiths have accepted germ theory and modern medicine, but they still believe that it is up to God if you live, or that the illness is still from God, even though we know that no divine hand is needed to spread bacteria and viruses.

Faith is a belief in something without evidence. Faith was needed in a time when there was no knowledge of why things happened the way they did. However, we now have knowledge, so that faith becomes ignorance.

While I may pity those who buy into religion or faith of a supreme being or beings, I generally don’t have a problem with those who hold those beliefs. Religion is more like a treatable mental health problem. However, I do I have problem with a person or persons who try to use their beliefs to be little and intimidate others, attempting to control them. Like the heated debates with gay marriage and abortion, the root of the underlying argument is a religious belief. Marriage is “sacred,” and must be between a man and a woman. Just because some man wrote that thousands of years ago, and it was put in a book that other men said was from the hand of god, doesn’t give someone the authority to force another human to submit to and live by their beliefs.

So to answer the question, where did the universe come from? I don’t know. But really, the only faith I need is that scientists are asking the same questions, trying to answer it too. It doesn’t prove the existence of a god or gods, only that we still have no unlocked all of the knowledge of physics in the universe. But science gives humanity a better outlook on how to deal with the future than a book of legends can ever provide.

Flashback to November, 2008. My wife, a 5 year employee of a major employer, was laid off, replaced by a more streamlined (read, cheaper) crew setup, and much of the work done by computers. Step forward to April, when I was laid off after 4 painful months of watching our workload dwindle to nothing, my check included. My wife managed to get a job paying 50% less. I continued on at school, and continued to look for work. At least my unemployment check, with Obama’s gift of $25 a week, helped. Even as we were knocked off our rear ends, we continued to try and climb forward. My wife found a job paying a little bit more, and we moved closer to comfort.

But as you can guess by now, the circle of broke was among us. Things were going alright. I still hadn’t managed to find a job, but my prospects for good paying internships were looking good. My 4.0 GPA was something to take notice of, and a couple of professors were vetting me as a possible grad school candidate, with the hopes of getting paid to go through the NSF. I was a semi-finalist of a major scholarship that would’ve paid me a decent dime to go to school. Then it all falls apart. I wasn’t selected for the scholarship. I wasn’t selected for UNC Charlotte’s SREU. Boston U canceled their SREU. Other programs said thanks but no thanks. My benefit year ended, and when my benefits resumed, I had taken a 40% cut because it was based on my pathetic excuse for 1st quarter pay in 2009. Nobody was interviewing me. Then a break, I got an interview from a place an hour and a half away.

But money kept growing tighter and tighter. Last week, my home phone, cell phone, internet, and tv were shut off because of being 2 months behind. Turns out that that interview I had, they wanted me, but couldn’t reach me and took someone else. ARG!

Then my wife came home today with some more troubling news. Her boss let go of two more people today, and told her she may be next. Really? I hope he at least is nice enough to provide a Sam’s Club size case of KY for the reaming that will follow.

But that’s life. Welcome to the circle of broke. We forever hold on to hope, but unfortunately hope doesn’t sell the bills. Maybe if I could just be a con artist and learn how to sell false hope.

I'll sell you my tie

Some people will say so. Most of them aren’t broke so, do their opinions really matter? I mean, I can look at the bright side, I have my family, my health, my house, etc. Ok, well, the health is questionable (large amounts of stress does that to people), stress in the family, and the consistent fear of losing my house and everything.

Simply put, being broke is about one of the worst things that can happen to you. Not because of the lack of money, because it’s true, money doesn’t buy happiness. It’s the fear and anxiety surrounding the future. An unknown future.

For the last year I have been on unemployment, simultaneously looking for work and going to school. I’ve managed to get by, even with all of the income that is no longer coming in (we made roughly 50% less in 2009 than we did in 2008). I was proud of myself, putting us in a position where even with both of us losing jobs and taking substantial cuts in pay, we could still squeak by.

With summer nearing, I began seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a semi-finalist of a major scholarship which would give me a livable stipend (starting at $25,000 a year). I’ve got realistic chances for great internships that would provide decent pay and a wealth of experience. It looked like all of my hard work may be beginning to pay off. All of the restless nights working on school work, studying and forcing myself to understand and apply the concepts, working hard on teams to complete projects and set up conferences. Then yesterday I found out my unemployment benefits are tapped out, a couple of weeks shy of a full year.

Fear, anxiety. How am I going to get by? How am I going to keep paying the bills, keep a roof over our heads, put food on the table. This is where broke is the worst. It isn’t that you aren’t being a man or a woman, doing everything you can to make things right. It’s the lack of any control, knowing you are powerless to fight back.

I’ve applied for my extension, and even though everything appears to be ok, but who knows. I have no power to make them do anything, and now all I can do is hope and wait that that check keeps coming. In the mean time I will keep doing what I do, yet deep down slightly unhinged by the fear.

I know Kanye has attention issues, but he stepped a boundary with that. Totalling lacking in class and respect, he demonstrated how pathetically weak his character is.

My hats off to Viacom for running him off after that. But I also have to give a lot of credit to Beyonce. For as little class as Kanye displayed, Beyonce made up for it.

And to Taylor Swift, congratulations on winning your VMA. Don’t let people like Kanye get you down, they just hate on others because they don’t have enough respect for themselves.

For anyone who hasn’t seen it (or would like to see it again), here it is, available at MTV.com

It’s all good though. In a few weeks I plan to switch back to Roadrunner. With cutting out all of my phone companies mess, I can add HD DVR and a few more channels and still save money =)

And in case you were wondering what I’ve been up to lately, besides some exterior updates on my house and trying to pass the time being unemployed, I’ve been working on a pet project. After years of trying to do research on my family but coming up empty handed, I finally started finding some answers. I’m a budding little genealogist  :-) Well, on the real, I’m still an amateur, but the logical problem solving techniques that have helped me in math and science pay off well. Unfortunately I’m at a brick wall, one that has stopped many before me, but I’m determined to get through it. Anyways, this pet project is a Joomla powered site, putting forth all of the data regarding the background of my family up to the road block, including all supporting evidence. And wow, there is a lot of supporting evidence!

This voyage has been fairly involved, and will take me much longer to put together than I anticipated. But hopefully in the future, some little smuck with a computer and the good sense to use google will one day come across my site doing a google search on his family background. That way he won’t get mislead by some dubious persons who have leaked out bad ancestral regarding my family.

Our "elected" governor, Bev Purdue, plans her next move to desecrate our state

It’s funny how we depend on the government to ensure our laws are upheld. Then they go ahead and do something that breaks their own laws. Aggravating.

So here’s the deal. Anyone in North Carolina has to have heard that they are doing a statewide .5% pay cut for teachers. In Charlotte – the only place I can speak of – they are lowering every one’s wage by .5%, due to state and local decreases. So even if the money for your job doesn’t come out of the particular coffers affected, you still take a pay cut, in order to be more “equitable.” Hah.

Now cutting teachers salary is not illegal. Maybe not the brightest thing, given that NC teachers are some of the lowest paid in the country to begin with, but definitely not illegal. What IS illegal is the pay cut is RETROACTIVE. So whatever an employee earned for the ENTIRE school year, they will have to pay back the .5% overage.

This isn’t a “whoops, we realized that an accounting error.” And I dig a little bit of digging too, and snagged this right off the NC Department of Labor website. 

An employer can change its wage agreement with an employee at any time, regardless of what the original wage agreement was and without the employee’s permission. There are certain requirements that an employer must meet pursuant to the N.C. Wage and Hour Act (WHA) to make changes in its wage agreements, including the reduction of an employee’s pay or wage benefits:

1) An employer must notify its employees in writing at least 24 hours prior to any changes in its wage agreements that result in the reduction in pay or wage benefits, pursuant to N.C.G.S. §95-25.13(3).

2) An employer cannot make changes in pay or wage benefits that result in the retroactive reduction of wages or wage benefits that are already earned. In other words, the reduction in wages cannot take away pay or wage benefits that have already been earned up to the time of the notification. Any reduction in pay or wage benefits must be prospective from the time of notification. An employer may, however, retroactively increase an employee’s pay or wage benefits without prior notification.

And for good measure, I read through the North Carolina Wage and Hour Act, and the only exemptions not applicable to this issue. But what’s frightening even more, it states that for teachers, who only have one more pay period, that everything over will be taken out for that period. Have a nice summer, don’t let the door hit you on the way out! And for those who will owe more than they make that period? Hah, even more due negligence. If the amount is negative, depending on what factors made that be, then you will either owe them nothing, or will owe the difference. What I like is they will garnish your wage to zero, which that too is against the law (can’t garnish once it goes below minimum wage level, can’t garnish for any overtime pay as well).

What a lovely state we live in. We get tight on money, so instead of tightening up the funds of those bastards in Raleigh, they have big expensive lunches to discuss how to save money, and they decide to do it on the backs of North Carolina’s already underpaid teachers. I’m beginning to think Bev Perdue hates children, even though I was shocked to learn she has a couple of her own, although I think they are a bit grown now. We got ourselves a woman governor who doesn’t think like a woman. What’s the appeal in that. Say hello to Mike Easley Jr., we just call him “Bev” for short.

In all my years of driving, I have never experienced this first-hand

I am proud to say that I have never received a parking citation in all my years of driving. Well, at least I know that. Park It! Charlotte and Law Enforcement Systems apparently have a different opinions. Yet what it comes down to is incompetence – and potentially illegal behavior – by the very people who are paid by our taxes.

So a little history. In November, 2006, my wife totaled her car. Yes it was her fault, no she wasn’t hurt, and yes I believe the other person was.  She ran a red light and T-boned a minivan at 50 MPH. Her Camry was totaled, although behind the front fenders you would never know. The minivan’s frame was literally bent in. So piece of advice, forget the Dodge Grand Caravan, but the Toyota Camry.

Insurance handled most of everything, but we had to turn in the tag prior to getting our payout. Which we did, at the DMV Tag location on Independence Blvd. in Charlotte, NC. The one beside BJ’s for those who know it. Got our receipt, got our check from the insurance company, then went on about our business.

So why is a totaled car from 2006 relevant mid-2009. Apparently the tag was “improperly” handled after turning it in. In March of this year, I received a letter from the Charlotte parking authority, affectionately known as Park It!, stating I was past due on a parking citation, and that I owed $35. Seemed suspect, so I checked all of the tags at my house. Nothing matched. Checked all of my parents tags, nothing much. Even glanced at the ones in the neighborhood, yet none even matched the first two letters.

So I called a family friend who is a Deputy Sheriff and asked her to run the tag. It was for a 2005 Camry, and listed as being owned by State Farm. Interesting that it would be the car that was totaled and owned by our insurance company. So I called Park It!, told them I wanted to appeal. At first she said that it was too late to appeal since it was past due, but after I explained the situation, she agreed and said that they were going to take care of it on their side, especially after she ran the tag, and sure enough, it was listed as State Farm as the owner. Ironically, the vehicle was a Nissan, not a Camry. Is this suspect?

So I thanked the lady and began to worry about why that tag was floating around still. So I put it on my to do list to find that tag receipt and contact the NC DMV License and Theft Bureau. Well, I forgot. Or should I say it moved lower and lower on the list. Until today.

Today I got a letter from Law Enforcement Services, stating that I owed $35 for that citation, and failure to either pay or contact them by 5/11 could result in one of the following:

• Having my vehicle towed
• Having wheel-locks installed on my wheels
• Taken to court

Although personally I would love to see the car get towed, the agency is potentially screwing around with my credit. But I’m now fuming because this supposed “taken care of” situation is now being taken care of by a collection agency. I contacted them, explained the situation, but now they need paperwork. Apparently collection services aren’t paid to do their homework, only to collect. So now I was forced to find that damned receipt, which I have. I’m faxing it in the morning. If they try to collect again then we may be seeing each other in court – maybe someone will let me borrow some Armani vampire fangs

NC DMV License and Theft Bureau will also be hearing from me tomorrow, as I try to get some investigation as to why in the hell a tag that was legally turned in 2 years ago is being used. Park It! is also getting a copy of the receipt as well and a stern warning not to contact me again regarding this tag. I will not respond to any requests for payment, they have their sufficient proof. I’m also going to be sending in a complaint on the unprofessional methods by which this is handled. Once I had provided enough proof that the ticket was not supposed to be for me, and I was told that they were going to take care of it on their end, I should have NEVER received that letter from the collection agency.

And finally, I still want to know how in the hell they got my name in the first place. The tag was registered to State Farm, yet I’m the one who has had the headache.

So a word of advice to anyone turning in your tag. Hold on to that receipt for a long long time. You never know when some crook in the DMV is going to ensure your old tag ends up on the back of another car.

Mrs. Moats and another passenger disregard Officer Powell's orders and go in to see her dying mother

If you haven’t heard this one yet, it’ll eat at you. WFAA News 8 out in Dallas released the story of the events from last night. You can read the full article on News 8 or watch the news segment here.

Ryan Moats – running back for the Houston Texans – and his wife were on their way to the hospital to be at the bedside of his mother-in-law for her dying moments. On the way there, he ran through a red light near the hospital. Dallas Police Officer Robert Powell spotted them, and pulled them over in the ER parking lot. That’s where things go bad. Anyone with a heart would’ve allowed him to see her, right? Absolutely not for Officer Powell. He reportedly pulled his pistol on them after he got out of his car, for whatever reason I do not know. They pleaded with him to let them go see her, but he refuses. His wife and the other woman in the car ignored his order and went in.

Moats couldn’t find his insurance card, and officer was threatening to tow his car, even to haul him off to jail. Nurses tried to convince the officer to let him go see her. It finally took pleading from another officer to let him go in. By the time he got to go in and see her, she had just died.

For no real reason but to be an arrogant jerk, Officer Powell took away an important moment from Ryan Moats life. The Dallas PD has dropped the ticket, and has issued a formal apology to Mr. Moats. During the news segment, the PD also stated that officers are expected to use appropriate discretion in certain matters, and that Officer Powell incorrectly handled this situation. They are investigating the situation and have placed him on leave.

Normally I wouldn’t say he deserves to get fired, but in this case, I believe it is the only option.

“My understanding is that Officer Powell — even after he saw the videotape — believed he had not acted inappropriately,” Chief Kunkle said, a view that was underscored by Assistant Chief Floyd Simpson, who reviewed the tape with Officer Powell on Wednesday.

“His belief was simply that he was doing his job,” Chief Simpson said. “It did concern me that it just seemed that the compassion was not there.”

I’m just glad to see that Moats has handled it well publicly, given what he dealt with. I’m also glad to see the Dallas PD not trying to defend those actions. I’m not saying they need to throw him under the bus; he did that for himself.

If the administration has its way, these soldiers may have to use private insurance to pay for treatment of war related injuries after being discharged

One of the things I most hate to hear is when veterans of the U.S. military get screwed by the government. There was once a time when the military provided everything when you served, and when you got out you were taken care of. After someone has intentionally put themselves in harms way for the protection of this country, it seems like such a small thing to do.

Yet recently we’ve been hit with newsbreak after newsbreak of vets getting the short end of the stick. I remember watching to 60 minute special after the Walter Reed news broke. Sickening. I remember hearing about a kid – just 19 years old – who had been sent off to Iraq and within a couple of months had his leg blown off. He was given a medical discharge and sent to the hospital to get a prosthetic and go through therapy. Then the army comes and wants their $20,000 bonus back because he didn’t serve his full term. Are you serious? The Army should have changed its campaign posters to “Join the Army, where it’ll only cost you an arm and a leg. Or a leg and $20,000.” It was sickening.

Now we hear about the lack of basic cleaning of equipment has put numerous veterans at risk for dangerous infections, including hepatitis and HIV. Appalling.

But it gets worse. The Obama administration has found a way to fully fund the VA medical system – charge the vets. That’s right, even for battle related wounds, the VA system would charge veterans’ insurance for medical care, putting veterans at the mercy of their insurance benefits. Something isn’t right there.

Obama is trying to fill a $540 million budget gap, so he plugs it with the money of the veterans. Wow. I guess their blood in the battlefields wasn’t good enough, now we need their money too.

Our government needs to take a step back and take in everything. What all is this and other recent policies (I.E. 90% retroactive taxation on bonuses) doing? It is eroding the public’s trust in the government. Including the trust of the men and women who risked so much to keep us around. It is a shame, truly a shame, that we have sunk so far.

Backside of the VA Medical Center in Miami, FL.

Seems to undermine the purpose of the VA Healthcare System. Yet what else is new. A while back the whole Walter Reed Hospital thing blew up, so we knew what kind of crap out vets have to deal with when it comes to VA healthcare. Yet the latest incident is completely below the belt.

It came out that contaminated equipment at a Miami, FL, VA facility could put individuals who had colonoscopies (for this procedure they basically have a long tube with a camera on the end of it, and shove it into your colon. Sounds fun, eh?”) at risk for hepatitis and HIV. Apparently the tube used for the procedure was only rinsed after use, not disinfected. I’m too shocked for words. Even worse, can you imagine the look on the poor guy’s face when he comes back for the results – “Mr. Smith, I have good news, and I have bad news. Good news, no pollups, no cancer. The bad news. Well, uh, you see, we didn’t follow protocol exactly, and, uh, you may have contracted hepatitis or HIV.” I’m sure that’ll go over well.

I just can’t believe that a healthcare facility, especially a federally funded one charged with providing healthcare services to the men and women who have put their lives on the line for this country, could overlook such a simple fact, something that is basic protocol around the country. Anything like that, especially something INSIDE a person, has to be either sterilized or disgarded as bio waste. What next, they were also reusing needles?! Are you kidding me?!

The worse part is that there are other sites (Murfreesboro, TN, and Augusta, GA) suspected of putting patients at risk by using contaminated equipment. I have a bad feeling that may not be the end of it. How many other facilities have endangered their patients, our veterans, by blatant disregard for basic protocol and basic safety of their patients. Can we say malpractice?

I love the ending of the article on CNN though. I’m just going to quote:

The special care clinics opened Tuesday morning, and officials say response from patients has been good. “They are being proactive, and we are glad. We want them to get tested,” said Susan Warren, a spokeswoman for the Miami VA facility

Seriously. “They are being proactive.” No, they are scared out of their minds they have just contracted an incurable virus that they could spread to their loved ones. They want to know if they need to be scared or not. What the hell is she thinking when she says that!

Part of the problem though is how long it can take HIV to show up in the body. It could be years before any one of those vets could test positive. Then what is the VA going to say. “Oh, that is the price you pay for unprotected sex.” No, that is the price you pay for unprotected colonoscopies.