The circle of broke

May 18, 2010 by munky · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Economy, Rants 

Anyone who remembers Disney’s The Lion King can understand the circle of life. Well now, I want to introduce you to the circle of broke, that subset of the circle of life that dictates how the poor stay poor.

Flashback to November, 2008. My wife, a 5 year employee of a major employer, was laid off, replaced by a more streamlined (read, cheaper) crew setup, and much of the work done by computers. Step forward to April, when I was laid off after 4 painful months of watching our workload dwindle to nothing, my check included. My wife managed to get a job paying 50% less. I continued on at school, and continued to look for work. At least my unemployment check, with Obama’s gift of $25 a week, helped. Even as we were knocked off our rear ends, we continued to try and climb forward. My wife found a job paying a little bit more, and we moved closer to comfort.

But as you can guess by now, the circle of broke was among us. Things were going alright. I still hadn’t managed to find a job, but my prospects for good paying internships were looking good. My 4.0 GPA was something to take notice of, and a couple of professors were vetting me as a possible grad school candidate, with the hopes of getting paid to go through the NSF. I was a semi-finalist of a major scholarship that would’ve paid me a decent dime to go to school. Then it all falls apart. I wasn’t selected for the scholarship. I wasn’t selected for UNC Charlotte’s SREU. Boston U canceled their SREU. Other programs said thanks but no thanks. My benefit year ended, and when my benefits resumed, I had taken a 40% cut because it was based on my pathetic excuse for 1st quarter pay in 2009. Nobody was interviewing me. Then a break, I got an interview from a place an hour and a half away.

But money kept growing tighter and tighter. Last week, my home phone, cell phone, internet, and tv were shut off because of being 2 months behind. Turns out that that interview I had, they wanted me, but couldn’t reach me and took someone else. ARG!

Then my wife came home today with some more troubling news. Her boss let go of two more people today, and told her she may be next. Really? I hope he at least is nice enough to provide a Sam’s Club size case of KY for the reaming that will follow.

But that’s life. Welcome to the circle of broke. We forever hold on to hope, but unfortunately hope doesn’t sell the bills. Maybe if I could just be a con artist and learn how to sell false hope.

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Is there anything worse than being broke?

March 8, 2010 by munky · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Economy, General, Rants 
I'll sell you my tie

I'll sell you my tie

Some people will say so. Most of them aren’t broke so, do their opinions really matter? I mean, I can look at the bright side, I have my family, my health, my house, etc. Ok, well, the health is questionable (large amounts of stress does that to people), stress in the family, and the consistent fear of losing my house and everything.

Simply put, being broke is about one of the worst things that can happen to you. Not because of the lack of money, because it’s true, money doesn’t buy happiness. It’s the fear and anxiety surrounding the future. An unknown future.

For the last year I have been on unemployment, simultaneously looking for work and going to school. I’ve managed to get by, even with all of the income that is no longer coming in (we made roughly 50% less in 2009 than we did in 2008). I was proud of myself, putting us in a position where even with both of us losing jobs and taking substantial cuts in pay, we could still squeak by.

With summer nearing, I began seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a semi-finalist of a major scholarship which would give me a livable stipend (starting at $25,000 a year). I’ve got realistic chances for great internships that would provide decent pay and a wealth of experience. It looked like all of my hard work may be beginning to pay off. All of the restless nights working on school work, studying and forcing myself to understand and apply the concepts, working hard on teams to complete projects and set up conferences. Then yesterday I found out my unemployment benefits are tapped out, a couple of weeks shy of a full year.

Fear, anxiety. How am I going to get by? How am I going to keep paying the bills, keep a roof over our heads, put food on the table. This is where broke is the worst. It isn’t that you aren’t being a man or a woman, doing everything you can to make things right. It’s the lack of any control, knowing you are powerless to fight back.

I’ve applied for my extension, and even though everything appears to be ok, but who knows. I have no power to make them do anything, and now all I can do is hope and wait that that check keeps coming. In the mean time I will keep doing what I do, yet deep down slightly unhinged by the fear.

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